Something beyond the quiet persistance of a dream

New Blog!

2010-08-27T21:43:00.000-04:00

A redirect should (hopefully) be set up soon, but I wanted to redirect you all to my NEW BLOG!! I am so excited about this and I had help from some awesome people! Mommy B Knows Best answered my questions and helped me out in getting my new blog going, check her out at mommyknowsbest.com! Leah Outten also was a huge help in answering any questions I have! Her Blog is great too, so check that out at omommawrites.com! And a BIG THANK YOU to Jenn (Mommy B Knows Best's) husband, Joel! He helped me with the whole process of making the "big switch" from Blogspot to Wordpress! Check out his Blog at thecoastercritic.com!

I will hopefully have a Google Friend Follower on there sometime soon so you can follow me like here, but for now, you can Subscribe to my RSS Feed!

Now, follow me to my newest venture at foreverslikeadream.com!... See you there!

Thanks for reading!

The Baby Book!

2010-08-08T17:06:00.000-04:00

So today I finally started filling out LC's Baby Book of "firsts!" It's been sitting in a closet probably since before he was even born in a box and I looked at it maybe one time since I bought it. After going through his closet and de-cluttering the pile of a disaster thrown in there (I still had 6 month clothes he was never going to fit into hanging up!), I decided to start filling out his baby book. Thank you to my Blog and endless amounts of photos saved in folders arranged by his age to help me answer all of these questions!

I think being a mom has made me procrastinate even more, because I want to spent all of my time WITH him! I thought I would have more time being able to stay at home with LC everyday, but sadly, that is not the case!

So today, I sit starting this baby book with intentions of doing more and maybe one day even actually doing his scrapbook (which would mean I should finish the one of me and Kyle that was supposed to be out at our wedding too, huh?) I accomplished a lot today, what if I could do this everyday? LC would have a baby book/scrapbook for every month of his life!... Okay, now I'm getting carried away.

So here it is... the baby book! Now in 20 years, he will know he smothered poop all over his bedroom when he was 13 months old and laughed for the first time on our family vacation in FL! I must admit, I'm kind of glad I waited so long to do this, because it's been fun reminiscing on his firsts and the first, most precious moments of his life!

With Love,

Dress your kids in style!

2010-08-06T20:25:00.001-04:00

So I am a BIG fan of custom made outfits for LC! I love getting his name embroidered on outfits or cute little applique's! We have ordered a few outfits from this AWESOME children's clothing company localled here in the Charlotte area called Daffodils & Daisies, and we LOVE them!!

She makes absolutely adorable dresses (I had one made for a friend for her new baby girl, and it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!) and adorable outfits for little boys too! (Which admittedly, is hard to find!) Stores always have tons of stuff for girls, but never enough for boys!

Anyway, check out some of the absolutely adorable stuff by Daffodils & Daisies!
I can't wait to have a daughter to buy her this dress, I am a HUGE advocate for helping out charities (especially those related to cancer), and Daffodils & Daisies makes this one of a kind dress to benefit a little girl who is battling cancer :

And look at this adorable Jon-Jon! Landyn has more than one in different fabrics! There are many choices!

Are you totally IN LOVE with these adorable children's fashions?? Go to Daffodils & Daisies Facebook page to see more! You can order on the Facebook page if you see something you like (FREE SHIPPING!) Be sure to post on their wall that I (Kelley Crowe) sent you! She is doing an AWESOME contest where whoever gives the most referrals to Facebook, will get a $50 gift certificate!! I can go on a little shopping spree for some adorable outfits for LC! "Like" them on Facebook here :http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Daffodils-and-Daisies-Childrens-Clothing/147008105316370

And you can also check out their website and Blog at http://www.daffodils-and-daisies.com/.

I will leave you with a picture of my cutie pie in one of Daffodils and Daisies adorable Jon Jon's (monogrammed of course!)

With Love,

Footprints

2010-07-30T12:18:00.000-04:00

This is my favorite poem of all time. It's no secret I've been through some tough times in my life. I have lost some very important inspirational people who I loved very much. Each time I had to say goodbye, I looked to this poem for guidance. At my mother's funeral. I quoted this poem. Looking back at my experience, I realize I have made my own footprints and learned from others who have left a mark in my path.

Writing is an outlet for me. Writing is something I love to do, and I have been inspired from the beautiful words of my mother and my grandmother. I remember being a little girl, and me meme taking me into work with her and teaching me how to type on a typewriter. I remember getting letters from my mom often, and I used to wonder why she would do this? Why is she writing me these letters and giving them to me when she is right here? Now, I couldn't be more blessed to have those letters to inspire me. I have gotten my gift of writing from two important and inspirational people in my life who I was blessed to be able to be loved by.

Now, I want to mark footprints for Landyn. I want to pave a path of greatness for him so he can look back and remember the first time I took him to do something that inspired something in his life. I want to write for him and give him beautiful words of inspiration and encouragement that I was given. He is my inspiration, and I want to be his.

My favorite quote in this poem is this

"The times when you have seen only one set footprints, is when I carried you."

I can pinpoint the exact times in my life when I needed to be carried. Then I can look back and appreciate all of the times when my mother carried me. When she was my strength and she formed me into the mother I am now. I look back and I am not only inspired by Landyn and what he is doing for me now, but I am also inspired by the amazing women who were in my life and the amounts of love and goodness they put into my heart. I am thankful for the strong women who were a part of my life and I am inspired to be that same kind of a woman now.

I have footprints, experiences in my past that I can look back on and be proud of. I had amazing people pave the way for me and create marks for who I would become, and I had to be carried through them at times to prove how strong I am and how much people love me. The footprints I am laying down now are the most important and most precious ones of my life; the footprints of motherhood. I will walk beside Landyn and pave the way for him just like it was paved for me, and I will forever be grateful and blessed for what I have been given.

Here are mine and Landyn's footprints in the sand....

Blessings,

The inspiration of MY inspiration!

2010-07-28T22:15:00.002-04:00

Everyone always tells me how much they love Landyn's name (Landyn Carter.) Only a few people have asked me if I got it from where it came from.

I thought it would be more obvious that Landyn Carter came from "Landon Carter" in "A Walk to Remember." Nicholas Sparks has always been my favorite author. I knew I wanted strong names for my children, and I have dreamt about what name it would end up being ever since I was a little girl. I used to name my dolls and I would think for days "What is the best name?" Well, of course more thought is going to go into the real thing, right?

Landon was a name Kyle and I were instantly attracted to. But, I wanted to be different, so we went with Landyn with a "y." Done. No questions asked. His name would be "Landyn with a y" and I hoped that this would set him apart from the rest. We thought we had decided on a middle name. It's important for me for my kid's name to mean something; to come from somewhere. So we threw out some family names and for a long time his name was Landyn Lawrence. It flows, it sounds cute, but it wasn't right. I loved the idea of naming him after Kyle's dad and grandfather, but the fact that we kept reading baby books told me it wasn't the one.

One day in the car, I threw out Carter. This was a name I had considered for a long time and I loved, but I never thought Kyle would go for it, because it came from a Nicholas Sparks book. To my surprise, he loved it! Landyn Carter Crowe. Perfect right? Landyn Carter coming from the character in Nicholas Sparks' "A Walk to Remember" and I couldn't be more excited about it!

No, it's not after a family member, or someone who changed the world, but it's after an author that has inspired me in more ways than one. Nicholas Sparks was my inspiration for the little person that has become MY inspiration.

When Landyn was just five months old, we had the opportunity to meet Nicholas Sparks a a book signing for "The Last Song!" I was so excited! I couldn't wait to meet this person who has inspired me and I admired so much. I couldn't wait to tell him Landyn's name and share this with him!

There we went, walking up to him and I was holding Landyn and I looked at Nicholas and said "And this is Landyn Carter with a Y." He looked up at me and smiled, then looked at Landyn and smiled, and held his hand. It was such a fun moment for me!

Now I can tell Landyn when he grows up he got to meet my inspiration for what has become the biggest inspiration in my life : Landyn Carter.

Check out "A Walk to Remember" here:
A Walk to Remember

My favorite Mommy Products #1

2010-07-28T22:01:00.001-04:00

I decided to start blogging about my favorite mom products. As a new mom, I was always looking around for the most convenient thing. The cutest outfits to cover my post baby body, the easier slings to wear my new bundle of joy around the house, the best creams, face wash to help with my pregnancy acne and post pregnancy changin skin, and more!

So, today I am going to share my "post pregnancy glow secret!" I am always looking for something to put on my face and my skin to feel soft for my baby. One day, I came across Garnier Cleansing Towlettes and they are AMAZING!.. Seriously!!

This is the FIRST thing I have used to clean my face that easily wipes off my makeup (even mascara!) and doesn't leave my face feeling dry and full of acne!

So Mom's (and everyone!) TRY THEM!!... You won't be disappointed! Buy them here :

A year of my sweet baby boy...

2010-07-28T11:54:00.001-04:00

I realized I never Blogged this video I put together when LC turned 1. He's now 16 months old, and I wanted to share his first year with you all. There truly has never been a better year of my life!

With Love,

A Mother's Love

2010-07-27T13:46:00.001-04:00

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. ~Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895

People always ask me what my favorite part of being a mom is. I struggle to give them the answer, because there's a list of reason's why I love being a mom. Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to be a mom. I used to play house with my friends, and I used to dream of my baby's name's and what they would look like. Then when it became a reality, those dreams became closer to my heart.

I remember rubbing my belly and talking to the growing person inside of me. I had dreams of his ten little fingers and ten cute little toes. I sang to him and I talked to him and I told him mommy would always be here for him. Then when he was born, all of those dreams became a reality. My list of what my favorite part of being a mom was started, and it will never stop. So here they are. My favorite parts about being a mom.

1.) The open mouth kisses & uncontrollable giggles

2.) The little hands rubbing my arm and the cute little cheeks that never seem to go away

3.) The sleepeless nights (yes, I said sleepeless nights) when you snuggle up so close like when you were just hours old

4.) The way you say "gaga" and run up to me with open arms

5.) The feeling my heart has whenever I think about you

6.) The feeling of love I hold close to my heart and the realization that my mother once had this same love for me

7.) Reading you stories and watching your eyes glow

8.) The innocence you portray and the dreams that glimmer in your eyes

9.) The feeling of closeness you bring to our family and the hope you have brought into my life

10.) The endless amounts of possibilities you have given me to be a better, stronger, and more loving person than I ever thought I could be

This is just the start of my list. The start of what being a mother has done to my heart. Now, I'd like to ask you the same question... What is your favorite part about waking up the toughest, yet most rewarding job we will ever have? Being a mother is filled with endless possibilities.

Addicted to Cloth Diapers!!!!!

2010-07-27T09:31:00.002-04:00

Well, it's happened! I'm a mom, and I am no longer obsessed with cute heels and going out tops. I no longer care more about making sure my toes are painted and my cuticles are taken care of. Yes, it's true.. I'M ADDICTED TO CLOTH DIAPERS!!

I recently started cloth diapering LC for the many reasons (toxic chemicals on my baby's soft bum!?) that disposable diapers are no longer the preferred choice to many mom's, but I didn't think I would enjoy it SO MUCH! Aside from the other reasons why I decided to choose cloth over disposables, they are the cutest things to ever put on a baby's bottom!!!

I bought LC this wicked (yes, I said WICKED!) adorable FuzziBunz polka dotted cloth diaper, and I just love letting him run around and admire how amazingly adorable my little man is!

Check it out, and ask yourself this,.... do you want your child to be exposed to to carcinogenic chemicals listed by the EPA as the most toxic of all cancer-linked chemicals? ESPECIALLY when you can buy cloth diapers as cute as this!!!

FuzziBunz Perfect Size Cloth Diaper - Brown Polka Dot, Large

Fun Mommy Reading

2010-07-26T22:57:00.001-04:00

A day in the life of being a mommy! Who else to make us laugh than Jenny McCarthy!? I am a huge fan of "easy reads" as I'm sure any mom would be, so check out Baby Laughs! She has a series of other books too, but Baby Laughs is one all of us mom's can relate to!

Who has gone to the store with poop on them? I HAVE! Welcome to life as a mom!... I went to the grocery store, with YES... GASP.. POOP ON ME!!! My life has changed as a mom, but I wouldn't change it for the world!

So check on some easy "mom reading" while the little one is taking a nap or actually sitting quietly playing on his own, and have a few laughs!.. Because, let's face it, we are all mom's and we all can relate!

With Love,

Floating around a sea of possibilities

2010-07-26T19:53:00.005-04:00

We at the height are ready to decline.
There is a tide in the affairs of men
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
On such a full sea are we now afloat,
And we must take the current when it serves,
Or lose our ventures.

-William Shakespeare

As we grow up, we change with what happens in life. We become new people, people with morals, people with hopes and dreams, people with anticipations of the future. Everyday we encounter something new that shapes who we are whether it be something as small as letting someone cut you in the grocery line or something as life altering as the birth of a child. All of these opportunities becomes a part of us, who we are, but most of all, they are the stepping stones of who we will become.

Becoming a mother has changed me. It has changed me in ways I never thought I could be changed into. It has turned my heart into something outside of my body so strong, so rare, that I never even thought it would be possible to feel. Being a mother has changed me into a person I am proud of. A person I admire and better and stronger. A person who means so much more to one small human being than anything else. Being a mother is the best and most rewarding feeling in the world.

Everyday I wake up, and sometimes I wonder, "How did I get here?" I look at all of the obstacles I crossed, friends I met, tragedies I experienced and I asked myself "What did I ever do to deserve a life like this?" Then I look down to the smiling face tugging at my feet and I realize, everyone deserves to experience this. Everyone deserves to experice a miracle like this and a love so strong that you never know what you're missing until it's right in front of you and a part of who you are. Then I realize to myself how blessed I am to have changed. How truly lucky I am to have found myself in such an amazing place in my life. I realize that change isn't always a bad thing, and I am blessed to have made this change with an amazing husband and son who I adore.

I wouldn't have it any other way

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." - Marilyn Monroe

I believe people have to make mistakes. We have to be able to learn and evolve into our future. Everything happens for a reason... everything. People fail. People lie. People cheat. People love. People care. People believe. It's all a part of life. We go through life with different persectives. We start out putting our entire lives and trust into our mothers and our fathers. Then we become more independant, we want to learn things for ourselves. And as we get older, we become even more independant and make our decisions. Then we meet new people and they change us. They shape who we are. Our relationships make us into the people we will become. Then it's like it starts all over again, because you meet the person you love and all of a sudden, you're putting your life into someone else's hands again. You learn to trust, to forgive, to love.

Well knowing at the point in life where I am right now and I have this person putting his whole life, his future into my hands is the strongest thing I have ever felt. Being a parent puts a whole new perspective on things. New priorities come to the top of my list. It's not important anymore where my friends are or what they think. Nothing else is as important as my family, and knowing I have this person who counts on me gives me a strong sense of love and comfort that I have never known.

This is the time to live my life. To take advantage of the slowness instead of running through each day like tomorrow is another day, another chance. Now is the time to sit back and take advantage of all life's blessings God has given me. It's my time to live, to love, and to appreciate everything I have. I look back at the person I have grown into, the things I have experienced, and even though they were not all good experiences, I learned from them all and they have shaped me into the mother, the wife, and the person that I am today.... I can't wait to watch as Landyn goes through life with the same experiences and opportunities and turns them into the bright, rewarding future I hope to give him.

With Love,

Welcome to the world Reed Wesley!

2010-07-23T19:18:00.003-04:00

Our best friends Luke & Audra had their second baby boy on Thursday!! Reed Wesley Pruitt joins our crazy little family of boys and we couldn't be more excited!!

Audra and I went to HS together, and have been best friends ever since and Luke & Audra are Landyn's godparent's! Last summer when we spent time with them, Roman was stealing Landyn's pacifier's and looking on as his mommy held baby Landyn with jealousy! Now that he's grown, I bet he will be a GREAT big brother and LC is so excited to have another godbrother to grow up playing with!!

We love you guys & can't wait to meet baby Reed!!

With Love,

Mommy life is the life for me!

2010-07-21T21:36:00.005-04:00

So.. I promised myself I would update this Blog regularly, and unfortunately, that promise has not been kept, BUT, my reasons are GREAT! My little man has been growing so much that all of my time is spent with him, and I would not have it any other way!

Over the course of the last 3 months (since Landyn turned 1!) he has grown in 3 molars, is running EVERYWHERE, and is talking up a storm! (He get's that from ME.. his "gaga"!)

It's amazing how much one little person can consume my entire reason for living. His existence is MY reason for wanting to be healthier and live better, so we have switched to cloth diapering (for more reasons other than the fact that they are totall CUTE!) and I have started making my own laundry detergent & cleaning supplies (my first batch today!) So watch for tips of "green living" and how our family plans to live healthier & safer for the environment everyday.

I'm not even going to try to promise myself I will update as often I would like, but HOPEFULLY we will be back soon!....

Leaving you with a small little dose of what I get to experience everyday and BIG chunk of what takes up my heart!

With love,

Platinum First Birthday's??

2010-03-24T15:26:00.006-04:00

So I FINALLY have a free moment to share some memories from Landyn's 1st Birthday Bash! Friends and family joked it should be on "Platinum First Birthdays!" Although I'm no Tori Spelling (she does Hansen's cakes, we do Nona's Sweets! ;)), I tried to create some lifelong memories using some "going all out tips" from A List celebs. If there isn't a show on TLC, WE, or any other network... I have some video footage to be your first episode!! ;)

Landyn showed us what a big boy he truly is, and instead of crying, throwing a fit, or hanging on for dear life, he jumped for joy when Elmo came into the room! It was truly a first birthday to remember...

I want to thank all of the special people in his life (and mine!) who were there to share our special day. Please know how important you all are to us and how thankful and blessed we are to have all of you in our lives!

And a special thank you to Wish Upon a Star children's parties for making the kids so happy that day, to Romp N' Roll in Harrisburg for throwing such a great bash, Nona's Sweet's for making the most delicious cakes, and Bum Bum & Button (whimsical parties for children) for making Landyn's First Birthday unforgettable!

With love,

March 10, 2009 10PM

2010-03-10T18:45:00.004-05:00

March 10, 2009 at 10pm marked the beginning of everything.....

This time last year, I was counting down the days until my scheduled c section. Nothing could make me take my mind off meeting my little man. Everyday I woke up wondering what he would look like, who he would resemble. Would he have my eyes? What about Kyle's nose? I hoped he wouldn't have Kyle's nose!!

Last year at this time, I had already had an amnio test done to check for lung materity and about a million ultrasounds. All of which showed me that healthy, growing baby inside of me. I had dreams of holding him in my arms, sining him lullabies, snuggling him to sleep.

My c section was scheduled on March 13th, my original due date was the 29th, but because of what the ultrasound was showing (a 10lb baby!!!???) We decided to schedule it sooner. Little did we know.. Landyn Carter had a mind of his own.....

At 10pm on March 10, Kyle and I got into bed to get one of our final full nights of sleep! Oh how I used to love sleeping in, in the mornings! Not 10 seconds after we laid down there it came.....

"Ummm... I think my water just broke."
"What!?"
"MY WATER JUST BROKE!"

Then comes the light,.... and I stand up, and I am COVERED in total wetness. What did we do? Call the DR? Rush to grab my bag that I SHOULD HAVE already packed!? No. We laugh. We laugh like there's not tomorrow! Here I am standing in a puddle of amniotic fluid, drenched in this water. And we are laughing to the point of tears! Oh wait.. you think that's funny? Wait until you hear what my adoring and absently concerning husband says...

"OMG! I have to go shower and shave so I look good for pictures!"

Here I am, waddling with towels between my legs, packing my bags, calling very person in my phonebook to laugh about the unpredicted news.

About 45 minutes later, we are ready to go. Instead of being in a complete rush out the door, I stand in the middle of the kitchen and cry my eyes out! This time it's not a laughing cry, it's an "Oh my God! We are going to have a baby and I don't know what I'm doing!" kind of cry.

After waiting in the delivery room all night with contractions (blissfully unfelt!) THANK GOD, we get prepared and ready for the start of the rest of our lives.....

....Landyn Carter Crowe. A year ago at 8:05am on March 11th graced us with his appearance. Coming into a world of chaos and creating something so simple and perfect.

So I sit here right now on March 10, 2010 and I laugh at the moments leading up to your birth and I remember every little detail from that day forward, and I think surely, life can't get any better than this!

Blessings,

Oh what a beautiful morning!

2010-03-10T18:38:00.004-05:00

The weather here has been A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!!!! We are LOVING it!!! Landyn and I have been spending lots of time outdoors and with the windows open! We have been enjoying Cooper's company too! Landyn watches him on the baby video monitor and looks around for him when he's not here!

Yesterday, I tried out my new double stroller! I have been too excited to try this out, and the boys had a blast! Landyn held Cooper's hand the whole way... even towards the end when Cooper started to fuss, because he was tried.

On a stroll we go.....

With love,

Landyn's 1st Haircut!!

2010-03-06T19:29:00.003-05:00

Landyn got his very first haircut today!! We went to a children's place called Pigtails and Crewcuts and we even got a little keepsake photo with his name and date and a lock of his hair to take home!!

He did a GREAT job, except at the very end, he decided it was a good idea to jump out of the little car and made everyone in there jump!

Only 5 more days until our baby boy enters his toddler years with many more haircuts, bruises, and laughs to come.....

With Love,

Hangin with Mr. Cooper!

2010-03-04T09:10:00.005-05:00

As we embark Landyn's last few weeks of babyhood, Mommy has gotten some serious baby fever all over again!! We started watching Cooper in our house this week and we all enjoyed having him around!!

Landyn was obsessed with watching him on the video monitor, and loved holding his hand. He wanted to be wherever Cooper was! We have enjoyed having this sweet little man around, that's for sure!!

With Love,

Snugglies & Wuvvies!

2010-02-24T20:10:00.005-05:00

Landyn was alll snugglies & wuvvies today! (Yes I talk like I'm a child with him!) We were full of smooches and snuggles alll day today, and it was GREAT!!!!

Up until the last few weeks, he has not wanted to snuggle AT ALL, and ever since he was a teeny tiny little man he would NOT sleep on me! It was so sad, because I used to love that time with him.

Well a few weeks ago he had some kind of a stomach bug, and slept on me for the first time since forever ago! And he's done it quite a bit every since!

Today, he didn't want anything but mama, and it was the best feeling in the world!!

Blessings,

First cupcake from Nona's!

2010-02-21T17:51:00.005-05:00

Last week, we went into Nona's Sweet's (the BEST in Charlotte!) to order Landyn's 1st Birthday cake (countdown = 18 DAYS!!!!) Well we were back over that way over the weekend and decided to stop in for some goodies!

The last time we were there, Miss Dominica gave LC a yummy cookie :

And Saturday when we went in, we got him an orange cupcake with orange frosting from the cupcake bar. Everytime we go in, Miss Dominica gives him a wave and he always smiles back! We can't wait to see the cake for his birthday! (we even got almond flavoring like our wedding cake!! YUMMY!!)

With Love,

Look Mom! I'm not using my hands!

2010-02-21T17:46:00.005-05:00

Landyn fed himself with a spoon for the first time today!! He usually just digs right in and lathers himself up in his food, no matter was it is (wait for the blogpost coming next!) BUT,.. today he actually fed himself with a spoon, without choking himself by shoving it down his throat!!

Our baby is growing up!

Blessings,

Love Note

2010-02-08T21:28:00.006-05:00

A mommy posted on Charlotte Mommies today about how her child's school asked all of the parents to write their children a love note to be read out loud to the kids at school in honor of Valentine's Day.

I automatically thought of all of the amazing handwritten letters I have from my mom and how much I miss her and cherish those words in my heart. I realized the purpose of this blog was to do that for Landyn and for myself, but I also realized how important it is for me to hand write letters to him so he has them when he gets older to cherish when I'm not around too. My favorite possession is my letters and photos from my mother so I can remember what an amazing person she was and how much she inspired me and has shaped the person and mother that I am today.

Landyn Carter, you are my joy. You make me smile on days when I feel like there's nothing to smile about. You make me laugh in the morning when I feel too tired to move. You make me proud of what your dad and I have become and what we have brought into this world; and you make me the happiest and luckiest mom in the world. Here is my love note to you...

Dear Landyn,
When I was a little girl my cousin Katie and I used to play "mommy." She always had a baby girl, and I always had a baby boy. I used to pretend change diapers, feed my baby with a bottle, and snuggle that baby to sleep. I had dreams of being a mommy even when I didn't know how much love a mommy could feel. You have made my dreams come true. You have made me feel those feelings of love, hope, joy, and pride. You have given me the most amazing gift, and I look at you; my son, and I cry tears or amazement at what your daddy and I have made. I see what my mom saw when she looked at me, and seeing that makes everything feel alive.

You make me feel alive Landyn Carter and for that I will be forever grateful to you. I look forward to every day with you, and I can't express to you enough how much fondness and love I hold for you in my heart.

Tomorrow may not be the same as today, and a year from now will be different too, but always know, I am always here for you and I will always support you and I hope you can look back on these words and cherish them like I do from my mom. I wish she were here with us today to see the life I have made for myself and to be able to give you the kisses and hugs she used to give to me, I can only hope I can give you the same sense of comfort she used to give to me.

I love you and someday, you will be able to understand and feel that love too.

Your first Valentines Day is like any other first in your life, and your daddy and I will cherish this first just like any other and the 2nds, 3rds, 4ths, 5ths and more to come.

I love you monkey, and that will never, ever change.

With Love,

Almost a year.... Really?

2010-02-03T21:21:00.003-05:00

So.... before Landyn was even born, I PROMISED I would keep up with this Blog. Well, my New Years Resoltion is to actually follow through with that!

For the last few weeks, we have been planning Landyn's 1st Birthday Party! What!? Really!? My SON is going to be ONE!!!???? ... Yes,... Yes he is!

You know how it goes right?.. "Sunny Days, Clouds all day..." That's right! His party will be filled with Cookie Monster, Oscar the Grouch, Bert & Ernie.. the whole gang! And even a SURPRISE visit from ELMO HIMSELF!! But.. Shhhh! It's a suprise!!

Anyway, life has been filled with joys, laughs, sleepless nights, all the good and bad and tiresome of being a mommy, but this last ALMOST 1 year has been the best year of my life! And I promise to share those amazing moments with you more often!

Blessings,

Mufasa in the house!!!!

2009-11-19T13:19:00.005-05:00

We got LC this giant Lion the other day, and it has become his BFF!! LC and Mufasa playing around!!

With Love,

Too cute for his own good!

2009-11-01T19:13:00.006-05:00

I couldn't not post these photos of our little monkey right after his bath!!

With Love,

My Wish for You

2009-10-28T21:13:00.005-04:00

Growing up, my mother always wrote to me. She wrote poems and short stories. She left me notes in my backpack telling me how much she loved me. She wrote something sweet in each every one of my birthday cards, christmas cards, valentine's day cards, easter cards, and every holiday on the calendar. She wrote to me. My wish for you Landyn Carter is I will be able to carry on those inspirational words and write to you. My wish is you will be everything you are destined to be and you will follow your dreams. Let the sun shine on your face. Let the wind blow on those beautiful cheeks. Never look back and let the future be in the palm of your hands. My wish for you is that you will be loved no matter where you go or what you become. You will be loved.

"Make each day your masterpiece."

John Wooden

I hope you always know how much I love you. I hope you see the smile on my face everyday of my life, because you have been brought into my life. I hope you grow up to know you are God's gift to your daddy and me and neither one of us would ever want to imagine our lives without you. Everyday with you is a new adventure; a journey into an amazing life with you and I wouldn't have it any other way. I only wish for the best and I hope you always remember that.

Wish upon a twinkling star and let your dreams become alive. Dream about the crashing waves that make the sound of the ocean, the tickling sand beneath your toes, and the beautiful moonlight you see at night. Dream big my sweet baby boy, and mommy will always be there beside you to hold your hand and make those dreams come true.

I love you Landyn Carter.

Blessings,

The smile that keeps on giving

2009-10-20T22:42:00.005-04:00

LC is by far, the best and most amazing thing to ever happen to my life. Each new day with him brings something new that I will cherish forever. I know this is something every mommy says, but what is better than seeing your smiling baby from day to day and knowing he is smiling, because of you?

The last 7 months of my life have proven to be the most successful of my life. I have brought a beautiful healthy boy into the world who is thriving in life and more importantly, teaching me the meaning of my own. HE is the reason I breathe and the reason I wake up in the morning.

I know I promised to keep this updated everyday, and I swear I will update the last 7 months with photos, words of inspiration, and amazing moments of this little man's life, but I have been way too busy starting as this amazing little person Kyle and I made and thinking about how amazing life is and how blessed I am to have the most precious gift God could give.

This is what life is all about....

With Love,

My life as a mom

2009-08-19T09:30:00.010-04:00

Soo, I have seriously sucked at keeping up with this, but from now on I plan to write here often about Landyn and our amazing life with him! :).. PLAN is the operative word in that sentence. We are off to a playdate soon, but I will update with pictures from day 1 of Landyn's birth through now 5 months old! (See - I told you I sucked at keeping up!) The reality is, I have been too busy staring at this beautiful little person we made, and dreaming about the years to come. Kyle and I have no greater accomplishment to date than bringing Landyn into this world, and we are absolutely enjoying every moment he is bringing into our lives. From his first smile, to his laughter, to even the cries and late night feedings, he is hands down, the BEST thing to ever come into our lives!

I'll leave you with a touch of the best thing that ever happened to me....

Our first family photo!

Blessings,

Days away from the rest of our lives

2009-03-07T13:01:00.003-05:00

6 more days and the moment we have been waiting for over the last 9 months will FINALLY be here! Words cannot even describe the feelings going through my head right now. Is everything going to go as planned? Is he going to be quiet? Is he going to be fussy? Is he going to want to be held at every waking moment? Will he feel how much love Kyle and I share for our little bundle of joy? All of these things going through my head that I've been thinking about month after month are finally going to be a reality and all of my questions will finally be answered. This might sound crazy, but even though I knew this day was coming, it's always felt so far away until now. Now it really feels real and like it's actually happening. Days away from the rest of our lives....

With Love,

Why can't the past be left in the past?

2009-01-31T14:59:00.003-05:00

"We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams."

***

Why can't the past be left where it's supposed to be, in the past? Why is it so hard for some people to move on? There are so many great things happening and to happen than to worry about the memories of yesterday. Some memories are important to have, to hold onto but, why can't the ones that have been moved past, do the same for everyone else?

***

"You can't change the past, but worrying about the present can ruin the future."

***

We can't change our pasts, they have what shaped us, what have guided us, and most importantly, taught us who we don't want to be. We can't worry too much about what's happening now or else the future won't have a chance. I've learned to not worry about the things around me because, there is so much hurt and anger that can come between what's good but, why is it so hard for people to do that? Why is it so hard for people to see where happiness is and should be left alone?

***

"Cancer" is just a word

***

My past is filled with this word, this disease. I saw this quoted somewhere by someone who I really admire right now and look up to, and it means strength and living. It represents these two things that so many people struggle to have. It takes someone you know really well to be so strong and brave against this word to make you realize, life is so important. Life means so much more than bad memories and negativity. Life is about love. It's about what we have to offer not only ourselves but, the people who matter. It's about promise. But most of all, it's about forgetting about the significance of a word and remembering the person you are. The past is the past but, now we are what we are and we are what we have become. Whether it be a stronger person like I am after suffering so many losses but, gaining so much at the same time or, whether it be a strong person going through something horrifying in life and making the best of it and walking into it with a smile, we are what we allow ourselves to be. It's not about what's in our pasts or what happened yesterday, it's about what's happening now.

***

I remember so many parts about my past but, I am able to move on from them. That's what it means, that's what you're supposed to do. I think we should all take a step back and look at who we used to be but, then be thankful for the person we have become because, it's about right now. It's about what we're going to do to get past it, and what we're doing to be a better person. What I am experiencing right now, has allowed me to look at what's important. This baby is important. I am important, and Kyle is important. That's what matter's in my life right now. It's not about an hour ago, a few days ago, or years ago. Why can't everyone else think the same way?

***

"Most of our life is a series of images. They pass us by like towns on the highway. But sometimes, a moment stuns us as it happens. And we know that this instant is more than a fleeting image. We know that this moment... every part of it... will live on forever."

***

Have you ever heard that quote "Like everyone, and trust no one."? It's true. Let what's imporant live on but, let the other stuff be where it's meant to be. Stay strong and be who you are. Live for yourself and no one else because, there really isn't any other way to survive.

With Love,

Our precious bundle of joy!

2009-01-30T15:18:00.004-05:00

***

I thought I'd share some ultrasound photos - although most of you have already seen them, here is the beginning of the rest of our lives!

***

Blessings,

Do you ever wonder?

2009-01-30T15:02:00.005-05:00

"Do you ever wonder if we make the moment's in our lives, or if the moment's in our lives make us?" - One Tree Hill

***

What makes up who we are? Are we who we will be become the day we were born? Do our friends make up what will we become in life? Or do our life experiences, the moment's that capture our life changes and events say more about us than anything else?

***

We don't have say in what happens, life just happens and takes turns and crosses over bridges that we never saw coming. We could be one person in one moment, and the next thing that happens changes us completely. That seems to be my life. My body and my soul are completely different beings than they were a year ago. It seems like every year of my life recently has had some major moment that has completely turned who I am inside out. I would say, these moment's in my life have made me because, I know I didn't make up these moment's in my head and wish for them to happen everyday.

***

The moment that started Forever

... So here begins the rest of my life

***

The day I found out I was pregnant, my feelings of joy and excitement took over anything else. It wasn't until all these months later, where I look at the pictures of my son's cute little cheeks and kicking feet that I realize, this is the beginning of the rest of my life. On my wedding day, it was just a happy day of something I was familiar with and was this exciting part of my life but, today when I feel Landyn's feet kicking me and his prescence being known, I think "Oh my gosh, this is the start of something amazing..." The start of a new life. A new journey. New hopes, dreams, and aspirations. This is something I am investing my whole life in, and it's barely even the beginning.

***

I can't even describe what feelings I have going through my head when I think about how Kyle and I made this little person who is growing inside of me right now. We have created something so extraordinary, how can it be put into words? My body is changing, my life is changing, I feel like a totally different person. The things that were important to me a year ago no longer mean anything compared to this little life we are about to bring into the world.

***

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if our dreams came true? I know. I know life is something we dream in our heads but, my dream is alive and kicking inside my belly right now and there is no other way to describe this feeling other than these moment's are shaping the person that I am, and the person that I will become everyday.

With Love,